outside it's raining, which is rare for these parts. but i'm home now, which is rare in itself.

so the hard part's done, which signals the cue for the terrifying part to begin. the part where i have to work to create a life where i don't work for grades and where i need to be a real person. as if that were even possible.

i still have a few more things to do, finish this infernal internship project, launch this website, work on this thesis. and underlying all that is this nagging ticking time bomb.

and then there's all these questions that just swell up. what do i want to do? where do i want to go? what about the people, or the money, or the work? what about what i want versus what i need?

i don't know. i guess it's just too soon to say. i'm going to take some time to give my brain a break.