the TOP THIRTEEN moments of 2007 (because ten just wouldn't cut it)

in chronological order...

1. the new year (january) - we ring in the new year with another unforgettable greg's house party... sheer sloppiness ensues to be carried forth throughout the year.

2. the shaving cream expedition (feb) - dlo, bruce, goodman, and i embark on an epic journey of hallucinogenic wonders, recruiting plenty of soldiers along the way. our all night adventure ends in a glory war against all things aerosol.

3. the tour (march) - spring break brings the entire company to the sunny shores of san diego, making for some riotous beach days and nights: smoking on the boardwalk, wrestling on the sand, and falling unfortunate victim to one sneaky midnight stakeout, which will forevermore teach me to always check behind the shower curtain.

4. the t1000 (april) - bill chin joins the forces between his formidable engineering intellect and his monstrous smoking tendencies to create this badass beast (which i unfortunately never got to paint terminator-style). minds and lungs are blown in a singular bathroom hotbox sesh.

5. the hey day (may) - we ceremoniously cinch the fate of our college years- that it ultimately ends- armed with hats, canes, beer bellies, flour-caked faces, and a never-die (or do-well) attitude.

6. the acid trip (may) - goodman and i wreak havoc on our sanities and my room in this true revolution. we are hereafter converts for life.

7. the fourth of july (july) - indepedence day calls for a roadtrip out to the burbs to gavin's aunt's place, where we are treated to some of the most delicious food of our college years as well as to hippies hippies hippies galore. smoking with senior citizens? priceless.

8. the all-nighter at america's favorite playground (july) - late nights bring about utterly stupidly amazing wee hours, replete with hats passed around by every jersey girl (and one stolen by pants), endless drinks, and even some money won (me!). it ends with a hearty splash in the atlantic ocean and passing out over eggs in philly dinner. beautiful.

9. the twenty-first birthday (july) - in a weeklong celebration that includes center city sips, puppy dog books, cake, and chocolate cake shots, i ring in my adulthood with a sparkly tiara on my head and on the arm of the cute bartender at roosevelts. come on irene indeed.

10. the vegas trip (august) - though we feared that this may be one of those things we always talked about but never followed through with, monica's generous birthday bash takes us to america's really badass playground and houses us in a giant suite at the venetian. By day we lounge by the pools and by night we get slaphappy drunk to the point of wasted tumbles around the fountain in the lounge.

11. the last fall show (october) - in one of the many "lasts" of our senior year, our boys deliver a spank-tacular performance with double exclamation points: one when uri drops his mic through his skirt and one when uri loses his pants during the kickline. tears flow throughout the audience.

12. the new york trip, dunmore style (october) - zach shows us how they really do it in the city, and never before have we taken bottle service so for granted. so much so that the night ends with beth slopped out with a bowl on her head. picture perfect.

13. the thesis preview show (december) - a semester's worth of ridiculously hard work culminates here, where i present my "art", basically a mock fashion magazine featuring prisonwear and a giant photograph of my friends shotgunning beers. people go apeshit.

i just turned down a free trip to tahoe. boo i suck.

he is the cheese to my macaroni.

it's a california christmas... and it may be the last one for a while,
(god i've been intensely morbid as of late) and today we saw this:
which was just too cute. ellen page totally made the movie, with a good amount of help from michael cera and the soundtrack, and it was wonderful to see such a cynical yet ultimately sweet view on life's sometimes shitty situations, and that even the worst isn't that bad if it leads you to all the right places in the end.

" I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train
I kiss you all starry eyed, my body's swinging from side to side
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you" (the moldy peaches/michael cera & ellen page)

and nightfall may bring guilt-ladden trips to friends' houses, but sometimes those are all the right places in the end.

after nursing one bad ass tequila hangover all day today (a result of an unfortunately timely and really odd blackout) i watched the rest of the current season of "weeds" with greg and benson. the season finale was a complete "u-turn" from the last one, instead of guns cocked and tempers blazing, there were real fires and a lot of life contemplation.

and driving home through the calabasas mountains and looking out over all the lights of all the little houses on the hillsides that all look just the same, there's a lot of similar contemplation going on in my head too.

i'm not sure i'm going to come to terms with the fact that this is the last time i'll really be home. the next time i see this place i'll be out of school, probably working in new york, and i won't have any more summer, or winter, or spring breaks to come home for. does that mean i'll no longer be coming back and picking up these friendships again, just like the last time? or will this continue on... or eventually phase itself out...? there are a lot of people here i don't see anymore with whom i've spent amazing times with, which i cherish dearly for when and what it was worth. and then there are others whom i'm not ready to let go of yet, if ever. whom i would spend the rest of my life wishing we had been closer if only for it to be for longer. there are the empty promises of oh we'll keep in touch and oh i'll come visit, but we're busy with our more present and geographically more accessible lives and these things don't happen.

and it makes me sad, the friends i lose as i move on.

outside it's raining, which is rare for these parts. but i'm home now, which is rare in itself.

so the hard part's done, which signals the cue for the terrifying part to begin. the part where i have to work to create a life where i don't work for grades and where i need to be a real person. as if that were even possible.

i still have a few more things to do, finish this infernal internship project, launch this website, work on this thesis. and underlying all that is this nagging ticking time bomb.

and then there's all these questions that just swell up. what do i want to do? where do i want to go? what about the people, or the money, or the work? what about what i want versus what i need?

i don't know. i guess it's just too soon to say. i'm going to take some time to give my brain a break.

the end after the end?

ick i still have to do this digital photo assignment six. and my photoshop crashed again.

well whatever, no one in my house has been home in three days, i might as well keep myself occupied, no?

late nights finally give way to long days

after my last night (of oh... so... many) of this:

in order to produce this (which i still have to make a final, final draft for, booo):

i can finally partake in one, or two, of these (no matter how much the boys make fun of me):

aaand demolish one of these (hee hee):

it hurts but it may be the only way.

i've reached this point in my life where i realize that i am doing something i love. it may not be the one, but the fact that i can voluntarily drag myself out of bed to go to my umpteenth photoshoot, or stay up all night all week working on designing something actually baffles me; i never knew that this is where i would be.

the clock is striking noon today, and i'm already behind on what i have to do. damn.

i'm finally on the homestretch, leaving to go back home less than a week from now.
in store for me:
lake tahoe
napa valley
san diego
emily brady
lots of food and shopping, per usual.

i just really wanted to incorporate the word "clusterfuck," even though it does not apply here at all

yayy the crit for my thesis went wonderfully!
"so fresh... contemporary... can't wait to see more!"

thesis done. final web design project done. final comm paper done tomorrow. snow today! things are looking up... (it really doesn't take much for me, does it?)

baby it's cold outside

this past week has been more than hell, in between sleeping so little and barely getting all my work done (or not at all, in the case of one project).

it's gotten so cold recently. the semester is winding down, and frankly i am glad for it. the past few months have been rough, what with losing anne, and all the drama and the non-stop work.

winter used to feel warmer, sweeter, like i want to embrace the people around me even more. but this year, i don't know if it's the insomnia or not, i've been sad, bitter, unhappy with everything that's going on. i remember that i didn't use to be like this.

tonight was the opening reception for our thesis show... the outpouring of love and support that i received from those who came was sweet, but overshadowed, so unfortunately and unwillingly, by the few noted absences.

what am i to do? the bitter (cold and otherwise) is consuming me.